Emotions Impacting Your Life
I am a life coach. When I share my profession with people, I get a variety of responses. I know when I’ve met someone who gets what I do when I hear this:
“Great! I need to ask you something!” And this post is dedicated to those people. The questions they ask are also often asked by others. They’re important questions. They’re meaningful questions. And they’re questions that get to the core of what all humans experience.
Emotions Dictating Our Self-Tak
Four questions. Four different scenarios.
Question 1: My best friend went out with a group of people on Saturday and didn’t invite me. I’m feeling left out. Why would she do that?
Question 2: I lead a team of new managers at work. There are eight in the group, and one of them pushes every button I have. How can I get him off my team in a subtle way so others don’t figure out my purpose in doing so?
Question 3: I had a total meltdown at work. I’m so embarrassed. Things have been stressful with the merger that’s happening and people not really knowing everything that’s going on behind the scenes. My spouse and I haven’t been getting along. The kids are feeling that vibe at home so they’ve been acting out. I even heard from one of their teachers about problems my son is causing in the classroom. The thing at work seemed minor, but it was the straw that broke this camel’s back, and I went into tantrum mode. How do I save face?
Question 4: I can’t pinpoint exactly what’s going on with me, but I do know I’m using food as an escape. I just don’t feel like I’m living the life I was meant to live. I think food will help me in the moment but almost immediately afterward, I feel guilty, weak, and uncomfortable. What’s happening to me?
There is one common answer for each of these scenarios. All of these people are experiencing emotional clutter.
What is Emotional Clutter?
In describing emotional clutter to my clients, I ask them to think about having several apps open on their phone. Even though their screen is only showing one app, the others are open in the background and are draining the phone’s battery. The same is true for emotional clutter. It hangs out in the background of our lives, and it drains our battery in subtle ways. As a result, we may take things personally, allow our buttons to be pushed, exhibit emotional meltdowns, or buffer (with food, alcohol, gambling, shopping, etc.).
We think what’s happening is that one circumstance has made us react in a certain way, and we often want to blame others for what happened. In reality, though, that one circumstance is the proverbial straw on the camel’s back, and it is really our thoughts and feelings that cause our reaction to the circumstance.
How Do You Clear Emotional Clutter?
We’ve all heard the phrase “no strings attached.” Emotional clutter is the opposite. Emotional clutter keeps the strings attached. It also keeps our brains working in overdrive which we know isn’t a healthy way of living life.
Clearing emotional clutter is one way I help my clients in my role as a coach. We focus on the thoughts and feelings they have, the actions they’re taking based on those thoughts and feelings, and the results they’re ultimately getting. We discuss what they want their lives to look like and what’s necessary in order to achieve that life. We also discuss what they can let go of and how that letting go will be beneficial for them.
Most people say they’re ready to let go of the drama, the toxic relationships, the people and things making them feel less-than, and the emotional meltdowns. Actually ridding ourselves of those people and things, though, isn’t always easy. That’s where the real work comes in. And that’s where my clients and I really get to work!
Have emotional clutter you’d like to clear? Let’s talk about it.